dawn

I visited my therapist on a Tuesday afternoon and at the lobby, my gaze swiveled over the waiting room in the hospital trying to figure out how to pass time. Through the lime antiseptic scent, I pacified my mind, cleared my thoughts and as the evening sun rays laid calmly on my skin, I felt relieved of my pain, I closed my eyes and meditated on how many people said goodbye this year. How we are so connected at the same time we do not get along any more.  

Let’s talk,

We are friends but more of acquaintances, because we never get to talk and when we do, we are frozen at the moment, buried in our thoughts then we dialogue with the media.

Let’s talk,

I woke up at three in the morning and it felt like a painless wound that won't heal. I tried, I ran after you, I played the Solomon Grandy card week after week. I developed one tired heart and two tired eyes. I was crazy at half-past three in the morning. I sang songs at four. My mum got mad through the noise at five and at six, I wore a smile on my face and pretended everything was ok.

Let’s talk when I wake up. The thief will come to kill, steal and destroy. If you survive then he will leave a scar. If you keep quiet, he will devour. If you leave, this time I will not be emancipated through your control. You used to be my salvation but now Jesus is at the wheel.

Trust me,

If we see the sunset tomorrow then I will take you to the other side, if we do not then we can as well say goodbye. I have been struggling with what we have due to the silence and I swear, this one time I heard the holy spirit.

If you leave,

I will be mad as a hatter. Our relationship was complicated but despite adverse consequences, we were hopeless. You were rooted in your phone, I thought I turned my back on you, but the truth is, its too hard to love a grown-up kid.

I opened my eyes and I was drooling, waking up to the old lady receptionist who had Smokey grey hair, faded time-worn skin with a megawatt terawatt smile looking at me from the front desk.

“sonny you are up” that’s all she said