including HER

 including HER...,

 I woke up early in the morning, probably at 6:45 to be precise. It was cold and wet with a brisk wind sweeping the rain across the land. It looked like the sun was tensed up by the tumultuous sounds of the sky.

I was ready to let go;

she was not there when I woke up to our sweat-soaked, crumpled sheets. The room was in shambles and there were clothes strewn all over the floor. What was ones our Eden, became my nightmare when she walked out cursing and crying.

when I drew the curtains, I saw her,

Nobody knows how she feels as she stands with a pale face in the rain. Nobody knows if she is ok or she is crying. The rain washes her tears as she looks down to the ground with a frown. I don't know if she will ever smile again. She thought she had me on hold but I was cold-hearted and called her out.

I am so sorry that the sky is gray and not gay today.

I am so sorry that the rainbow is black and white.

I am so sorry that you stopped believing and I wish I could take everything back, but I don't know if I am late.

This time I will not come after you in the rain, I have been trying to make you love me but everything I try takes you further from me. I thought we lived to learn how to love through our rumpled relationship. I was ready to hold you close and learn to let you go. I fell head over heels in love with you and got confused the first time you smiled and winked at me. Then there was this time when you touched me and I felt like millions of particles crushed in within my body but now, I feel your sorrow falling out of your skin and for once I could have killed for your ill-conceived touch.

Jezebel

I fell in love with Hadassah and ended up with Jezebel. I had your birthmark on my mind and tattooed your name on my heart. When will we stop with the crying? When will we stop fighting? When will you just hold tight and follow the symphony of my heartbeat? I know I make you feel like you are standing right at the edge of your grave. I know our future is unclear but it is there. I just need to keep you close and love you more but I don’t know-how. 

She walks slowly towards the house convicted by the cold but I will ignore her today. As she enters the house, I whisper to her ear,

“This time not even coffee and Kush will help you.”