DEEP DOWN

“Everything that has a beginning, will certainly come to an end. That begs a question of love. Will we not love again?”

He hugged me, we said our goodbyes and he left. That was the last time we talked. The last memory we ever shared. Sometimes beautiful people come into your life just to show you that good people exist. They come to remind you that love is worth fighting for, that there are people in this world who will see you for who you truly are. They come to teach you how to love yourself, to nudge you in the right direction.

And oftentimes, these people leave just as quickly as they came. Every day feels like a dreary, melancholic day. The sky, a canvas of muted grays, seemed to mirror the somber mood that lingered in the air. I want to say I am OK but deep down, it hurts.

Conversations were usually lively and animated, now it all feels like a burden to listen. You told me not to use words like depressed, we are never depressed. However, I think I am really sad. I have been carrying a weight of sadness. We had everything figured out, you went all out and I was the chini ya maji guy. It really felt like we would actually stop the world.

In this bleak landscape, even the simplest tasks felt insurmountable, each one a reminder of the futility of effort in the face of overwhelming despair. A heavy heart, I carried month after a month with each beat, it echoes with the weight of unspoken words and our shattered dreams. Every breath was accompanied by a dull ache, as if carrying the collective sadness of a lifetime within its chambers.

You were not just a friend; you were a brother. We went through all the emotions. Cried under a Mango tree because of a girl. Yes, you become brothers when you cry because of a girl, under a tree. I will cherish every memory like they are treasures carefully tucked away in the recesses of the mind, waiting to be unearthed and admired in moments of reflection. They glow with the warmth of nostalgia, casting a gentle radiance that illuminates the darkest corners of the heart. That is how I will heal. I have been fighting all along. There were no answers and we were locked up in our own guilty conscious wandering.

Its settled.

Each memory is a thread woven into the tapestry of life, forming a mosaic of joy, love, and laughter. They dance in the mind's eye like fireflies on a summer evening, their light shimmering with the brilliance of shared moments and shared experiences. You were my friend, a brother I never asked for.

 

 

“Let them go with love.”

 

 

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